You Can Begin Again!

Sesky and Stephanie were introduced to each other in the Recreation Center at the Lakehurst Naval Base, where Stephanie was working, in July of 1982. Sometime later Stephanie found a letter she had written to her Mom, while she was in college, describing the man she wanted to marry. Sesky fit that description. Although Stephanie was
saved at the age of 17, she was not living for the Lord when she and Sesky met. She knew things were not right. She had had high standards, but began to compromise in certain areas of her life. They moved in together, and from the first night there was conflict — one after another. Today Stephanie says “From day one, life was a mess!” Sesky was a “drinking man.” At first this didn’t bother Stephanie. It was just “something he did.”

Then he became involved with drugs. They broke up two or three times because of his “getting high.” One night, in June of 1983, when he came home “stoned,” Stephanie picked up her Bible, and they talked for a while. Stephanie shared the Scriptures with Sesky and led him to the Lord. While visiting Sesky’s mother in Florida the following month they decided to get married. Stephanie just wanted a simple wedding in a park — a legal ceremony. But Sesky’s Mom said “No” to that.

She felt they should be married back in New Jersey with Stephanie’s family in attendance. They actually did both. They were married in Florida on July 23, 1983, and their second wedding was in a church in New Jersey on August 7, 1983.

After their second wedding they lived with Stephanie’s parents. In December of 1984, a daughter, Joyia, was born, and in November 1986, a son, James, joined the family. Sesky continued drinking and getting high. Stephanie had “set boundaries” right from the beginning. She would not allow Sesky to have his alcohol or drugs at home. Many nights he did not come home when expected. Sometimes he didn’t come home at all. He stayed in a room at the Barracks, or slept in his car.

There were times when he’d disappear and be gone for hours. After many warnings, Stephanie’s Dad changed the locks on the doors of their home. Stephanie spent a lot of time looking for Sesky. She would track him down at different places. Sometimes she’d find him, and just sit back and watch him. Other times she’d be so angry she wouldn’t let him in when he came home. She’d just say “Sorry, Buddy. I don’t know you.” She tried to punish him in her own way.

During this period God preserved the children. Night after night they slept through it all. In 1998, Sesky learned about America’s KESWICK — Colony of Mercy. He received an
application and initially appeared interested, but didn’t follow through right away. The whole idea of rehabilitation was completely new to him and Stephanie. But, he needed to want to go — on his own, not just because he realized his marriage was at stake and that Stephanie was “done.” The day came! He didn’t have a place to stay, no where to turn.

On March 15, 1999, Stephanie dropped him off at the Colony and left! She didn’t know what to expect regarding a change for him, but she did know this was something he needed to do. This was his problem — not hers! After the first two week period, Stephanie began to visit Sesky. They learned about the Family Covenant that had begun shortly before Sesky entered the Program. Because Stephanie did not live very far from KESWICK she visited frequently.

She attended Sunday services and T’n’T (Text and Testimony) meetings at the Chapel. At first she left immediately at the close, without even speaking to Sesky. When she learned about the Families for Christ weekends, she agreed to attend. Once again she didn’t know what to expect, and was very scared and nervous. However, meeting and sharing with other wives helped Stephanie a great deal. She was willing to allow God to do whatever He wanted to do in her life, as well as Sesky’s.

Since Sesky’s graduation from the 120-day program, he and Stephanie
have continued to attend the Families for Christ weekends. They have only missed a couple of times. They are pleased to have opportunities to encourage other couples. When Diane Hunt, Director of the Women of Character Program, started the Saturday morning Bible Studies, Stephanie began to attend with other wives and girlfriends of Colony men. Diane’s emphasis has been on “You and God.” Many of the ladies have recognized their own needs, been able to talk about them, and “move on” with the Lord. Stephanie has been reminded many times of the anger she once had as she often sees that same anger in others.

Although Diane hasn’t “been there,” she has answers for the ladies
from the Word of God. She shares the message of hope to all who attend. She understands the nature of sin and applies scripture to everyday needs. She makes it clear that the Bible is “real, alive and active.” If only everyone would apply the truths and live their life accordingly. Stephanie considers it a privilege to be able to fill in for Diane on occasion. She remembers the period before Sesky came to the Colony: those devastating times, the anger, the hurt, and the times she thought she’d lose her mind — the times she just couldn’t think.

Stephanie remembers praying, “God help me.” Philippians 4, verses
6 through 8, are especially precious to Stephanie. “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue
and if there is anything praiseworthy — meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.” Stephanie had read these verses many times, but one day the words “hearts and minds” seemed to jump out at her.

She meditated on this scripture, phrase by phrase, and realized anew that God loved her…He was still there…He was acquainted with her needs…and she was not alone. She knows the “cost” to wives and children; not just material things. And she remembers the hatred she had. She knows how one can become very hardened and put on an exterior mask. She is grateful that God put people in her life to cause her to wake up and pay attention: people like her pastor and his wife, and Diane.

Stephanie refers to these people and the programs at America’s KESWICK, like Families for Christ, Women of Character and the newest phase of the women’s ministry, Higher Ground, as “instruments of change.” She says “God used them to change me. God wanted me to realize that I needed Him.” She learned that God wanted her to trust Him, not Sesky.

Today she is pleased to allow God to use what she’s gone through to help others. Her experience and understanding have been very helpful to the ladies. She wants them to know that there is hope, in what appears to be a hopeless situation, through Christ.